Sweet Home Alabama

So, as you can probably tell, I didn't blog at all during my last week of Totus Tuus. I was most definitely in denial about everything coming to an end, and I wasn't ready to go back to my regular life in Alabama. I've been home for three days now, and I'm still not completely ready for things to go back to how they were before. It's getting a little bit easier as time goes by, but I still miss being a Totus Tuus missionary so much. Anything and everything reminds me of my team, and it's so strange to not be with them all the time. I keep giggling about things that they would think are funny, but no one understands why they're funny here. Basically, I just miss how things were this summer.

Just so you have an idea of how my last week went…let me just say that being in Alcoa was the best way to finish up the program. Everything went so well, and the people there were so great. The teen program went especially well. We did a really good job with the daytime program at most parishes, but it wasn't until Alcoa that I felt like we were actually making a difference in the kids' lives during the teen program. All of us gave our talks extremely well that last week, which makes me very happy. I'm glad that we ended on a good note so we felt like the summer was a success. Our Lady of Fatima in Alcoa reminds me a lot of St. Michael's in Auburn. They're both about the same size, and the same kinds of people go to both parishes. Especially during small group discussions, I felt like I was talking to myself when I was in high school. Their CYO is so much like my CYO in high school. I think that's why I felt like I could actually make an impact (or rather, that the Holy Spirit could make an impact through me). I just felt like I knew what they needed to hear. I'm still thanking God for giving us such a beautiful parish for our last week.

I'm still praying and discerning what exactly it is that God wanted me to get out of this summer. I've learned so much--how to let the Holy Spirit work through me to minister to others, how to love better, how to be a more faithful friend to my Sweet Jesus. Ironically, what I've learned the most is something that I prayed (and blogged!) about before I even left for Totus Tuus. Here's a snippet from one of my first Totus Tuus blog posts:

"I think one of the reasons God wants us to change is so we can understand that He is unchanging. And when we understand that God is constant, it becomes easier to trust Him and to give Him our hearts; we know that He will not turn His back on us. When we can truly trust Jesus with ALL of our heart, we can understand His love. And when we can understand His selfless, life-giving love, we can understand God because God is love.

So, I think Jesus is calling me to offer up my worries, anxieties, and fears because He is fast at work trying to win my heart over. He wants me to change and to grow so that I can better love Him and the people around me. I just pray that with His grace, I can do so."

Even though I'm hundreds of miles away from my teammates, and even though my life is drastically different from how it was this summer, I get to see my same Sweet Jesus every time I am in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament. I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to live out Totus Tuus, to truly tell God that I am totally His. My heart is no longer restless because I know that I can rest in my Jesus.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers this summer. I could not have gotten through any of this summer without prayer. Thank God for an awesome, life-changing summer!

May God bless you!

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton

This week, we are teaching at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Tennessee Ridge. This parish is so cute and tiny, and the kids are so sweet. My class is even smaller than it was in McEwen; I had three yesterday (with one student who was also in my class in McEwen) and I had four today. All the other classes have between three and four students, too, so our grand total has been about ten students in the daytime program. The night program has had about ten, also. So small! One of the benefits of having such a small group is that we really get to know the kids. At the bigger churches, we get to know some kids pretty well, but I definitely don't know all of my students well. Even more so than at bigger parishes, I feel like I'm making a difference in these kids' lives. I have a feeling that it's going to be hard to leave here, also.

This is our second to last week of Totus Tuus. I can't believe that this whirlwind of a summer is getting close to being over. I'm dreading being separated from my team, and I don't know how I'm going to handle not being on the road, teaching kids, and getting to see awesome places in Tennessee anymore. Katy has to leave tomorrow night to go on a family vacation, and she won't be back until Sunday afternoon. I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from her for that long! I had a hard time last time she had to leave, but now I know her even better and she'll be gone for longer. Please pray for me Thursday through Sunday; I won't have my Katy to keep me strong! Also, this weekend is going to be a pretty tough trip. We have a four and a half hour drive to our next parish, and we have to be there by about ten or ten thirty because we are going to see Scott Hahn speak! I'm so excited to see Scott Hahn, but on top of having such a long drive, we lose an hour because we switch to Eastern time. I think we're going to be leaving by about 4:30 or 5:00 am, so pray that we can actually wake up that early and that Nick doesn't fall asleep while he's driving us!

Thanks, and God bless! I'm praying for all my friends back home!

Team Nashville

All the Nashville teams together!

My cute little team + Andy

So, Katy and I think Andy looks like a leprechaun. We're the fighting Irish!

On the Road Again

So sorry for the lack of blog posts! I couldn't blog on the silent retreat for obvious purposes, and finding internet access in Tennessee Ridge has been a bit difficult.

After our break for the Fourth of July, all of the Nashville teams and the Atlanta team met back up at St. Bernard's Abbey in Cullman for a silent retreat. I've been worrying about this retreat for quite a while because I'm not very good at being silent for long periods of time. We could say the mass parts out loud, and we could pray out loud whenever we had group prayer for the Liturgy of the Hours, rosary, etc., but we were completely quiet other than that. It was about two days of silence. Surprisingly, I didn't really have a problem with keeping my mouth shut. The part of the retreat that was really hard for me was the solitude; we were supposed to avoid making eye contact with people--basically, to avoid non-verbal communication as well as verbal communication. I could handle not talking, but not getting hugs or even looking at people's faces was really hard for me, especially because I was on this retreat with my teammates whom I love and depend on very much. In all, I think it was good for me to go on the retreat, but I don't necessarily want to go on another silent retreat anytime soon. We had a day to hang out with all the teams before we left for our next parishes, so my team went to PJ's house in Huntsville. The next day, we spent some time at Nick's house in Brentwood before we headed to Tennessee Ridge for the week. Our mass kit was missing a few things that have made teaching with it difficult; most notably, the altar was missing, so I couldn't teach the kids how the altar is set easily. Over the break, Nicholas started making a mini altar for me to use, and he finished it when we were at his house. It looks so nice, and it makes teaching the mass class so much easier! He didn't have time to stain it, but it looks so nice!

I think it was the Fourth of July

For the Fourth of July, Nick's family was brave enough to have all of my family (minus Wilson) over to their house along with Katy and some other missionaries and seminarians. It was quite a lovely party, and meeting all of the Bulsos was so much fun! Katy and I have felt bad all summer because we stole Nick's little brother's car, so we wrote him a thank you card. It was great to put a face with the name, and I think he appreciated his thank you card.

My family left today, and I'm staying with Katy at her older brother's house for the night. Nick and PJ will pick us up in the morning, and we're heading down to Cullman for a silent retreat. We'll see how this whole being silent for two whole days thing goes.

Also, we went to Moe's in Nashville tonight for dinner, and we couldn't help but take a picture next to these funny tea signs. See if you can figure out who's from the South and who's from the North.

Family Time!

My family came up to Nashville to visit me for our break! It was so great to see their beautiful faces. See above for what I've been missing out on for a month. :) We got to meet up with my parents' old friend (the one who introduced them to each other, actually!), and we got to go to Knoxville to see some old friends from when we lived there. So exciting! Here are some pictures to document:

Last Week Before the Break!

We didn't have very much internet access in McEwen, so I apologize for not blogging more. The week was really great. The kids in my class totally stole my heart away. They asked such wonderful questions, and they really listened to what I taught them, especially about mass! The first and second grade curriculum includes a class all about mass every day of the program, and we have a mini mass kit that has miniatures of things like the chalice and paten, altar bells, etc. The kids love getting to pass everything around; I think the information sticks with them better because it's hands-on learning. When we walked into the church, my students got so excited to see the red candle lit by the tabernacle. One of them looked at me and said, "Look, Miss Emma! The candle is lit! Jesus is home!" When the altar servers rang the bells during the consecration, one of my students goes, "Oh, I need to pay attention! This is the most important part!" They also really enjoyed talking about remembering their baptism when they make the sign of the cross with holy water when entering a church. I mean, really, how could you not fall in love with little children genuinely enjoying the beauty of the Catholic Church?

All of my students this week were so extremely reverent during mass. All they needed was for someone to explain to them WHY we do certain things instead of just telling them to be quiet and go through the motions. Being able to teach kids about how sacred and beautiful the mass is has been one of the most rewarding parts of Totus Tuus. Children have such beautiful hearts overflowing with love, and I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to direct them on how to love Jesus through the mass.

The teen program went well this week, too. There weren't many people, but it was nice to have more of a casual conversation during small groups instead of a big discussion. I loved my small group girls, as always. I really want to visit all of these parishes again sometime before they all graduate so I can see how they're doing. Like I've said many times before, it's so hard to leave parishes at the end of the week. I feel like I'm leaving little bits of my heart in all these different places. I just hope that some seeds are being planted, and I'm praying that God will bless all of these wonderful teens with holy people who can be there for them in a long-term sense instead of just us being with them for a week. This is the point where I need to trust that God will take care of the people I love so I don't worry or stress about them.

Pictures from St. Catherine's in Columbia

They wrote a sweet message on the church sign for us!

This is what Friday water and shaving cream fun day looks like.

Us with all the kids in Totus Tuus!

McEwen, Tennessee!

We're now in McEwen, TN, a cute little town that is incredibly small but so precious. Everything here is completely different from all the other places we've been so far. Katy and I are staying in a family's extra summer house, so we have a whole house all to ourselves! Nick and PJ are staying in an old building that used to be a convent, so they have the whole building to themselves, too. Katy and I have our own rooms and our own bathrooms. We're being spoiled!

Last week, I had twenty-eight first and second graders in my class. This week, I have FOUR. Only four. The biggest class has nine kids. I'm actually afraid that I might not have enough prepared to teach these kids; we're not wasting time on things like taking a huge class to the bathroom or waiting for everyone to get quiet. The kids are so well-behaved, and everything is just going smoothly. I could actually pay attention during daily Mass today instead of having to get kids to be quiet and pay attention. It's so different from what I'm used to, but it's been so great to just sit at a table and talk to kids about how great God is. This class is a lot more discussion-based, and it's so wonderful to hear what kids think of God. They are so, so sweet!

This is definitely God taking care of us because we're starting to get really exhausted. I'm not really sure that I could have handled a really difficult parish this last week before our break. Our break is in less than a week now. That means only a few more days until I can see my family! I am most definitely not looking forward to Totus Tuus being over, but I have really needed a little bit of a break. Spending time with my family and getting Hank and Oscar lovies will re-energize me for the last two weeks of Totus Tuus. Please keep St. Patrick's parish in McEwen in your prayers!

More about McEwen to come soon! God bless!

Prayer Intentions!

For anyone who would like to prayerfully support my team, here are some specific things that I and my team would love for you to pray for:

• Our health and strength. Totus Tuus does not allow very much time for sleeping, so we've all been having sore throats and stuffy noses. Plus, the program is just exhausting.
• Our ability to allow the Holy Spirit to speak and work through us.
• The kids in our morning program and the teens in our evening program--for their openness to what we're teaching.
• Our host families and the families that fix us meals.
• Finally, we take turns giving talks during the night program. I would definitely appreciate prayers on the nights that I talk, and I'm sure my teammates would, too. See below for the schedule of talks.

Sunday Night: Nick's talk (Man's Capacity for God), my witness talk

Monday Night: PJ's talk (God Comes to Meet Man/Man's Response to God), Katy's witness talk

Tuesday Night: My talk (God's Plan for the Human Body)

Wednesday Night: Katy's talk (Eucharist and Confession), PJ's witness talk

Thursday Night: Vocations panel--this isn't any of us, but you can pray for the people on the panel. It changes every week.

Thanks so much, and God bless!

Three Down, Three to Go!

We just finished our third week of teaching (second on our own after the internship week). I'm exhausted! All of the little daily mortifications are starting to wear on me. Little things like not eating things I normally eat and not having opportunities to relax are great ways to suffer and be more like Jesus, but after a while, that cross just gets heavier and heavier! Please pray for my strength this coming week. We just have one more week until our 4th of July break and silent retreat. If I can make it through this week, I can make it through to the end!

I'm beginning to really, really miss my family. I was doing pretty well with not being homesick until this week. Father's Day made me really miss my Daddy. I had to miss my little brother's 16th birthday this week, and that didn't make missing my family any better. Every time I use my cell phone and see sweet Oscar and Henry faces, I wish I could be with them. I miss St. Michael's a lot, too. We've been to very many beautiful churches these past few weeks, but there's nothing like going to Mass in my own parish. So, basically, I miss Opelika and Auburn!

Every single day, I understand a little bit more why God has called me to this particular ministry, in this particular diocese, with this particular team, to these particular parishes. I'm learning so much about myself and about how to love others through this experience. Before Totus Tuus, I already had a love for children. Man, has that love grown! Absolutely nothing compares to the beautiful joy that radiates from a child who understands God's love. And I get to see smiles like that almost everyday this summer! It's amazing. I've learned so much from my teammates, too. I've never really been on a team this small before. I'm learning how to die to myself for others and how to let others take care of me. I know that sounds silly, but it's so true. Because there are only four of us, we really have to rely on each other for spiritual and emotional support. I'm just so blessed that I get along with my team so well.

We're leaving in a few hours for St. Patrick's in McEwen, TN! Please pray for safe travels--looks like we're going to be driving through bad weather again.

OH, and I don't know how I haven't blogged about this yet, but my team gets to hear Scott Hahn speak in July! I'll give more details later.

God bless!

Totus Tuus in Columbia

On our way to Columbia, we hit some really bad weather. By God's grace, we made it safely. I was a nervous wreck in the car, though, because the weather was awful and my Katy wasn't there to hold my hand. The weekend was really hard without Katy; I realized just how much I depend on her for spiritual and emotional support. After spending a day and a half apart, we stayed up way too late getting caught up on each others' lives. A lot can happen in a couple of days! Being separated for a little while definitely made me all the more thankful that I get along with Katy so well. We really are a team, and it was so weird for the team to be incomplete. Now she's back, and we can get back to being a missionary team together!

The morning Totus Tuus program is usually for rising 1st-6th graders, but St. Catherine's didn't realize until it was too late that it's for kids starting 1st-6th grade in the fall instead of kids who just finished 1st-6th grade. When I usually teach my 1st and 2nd grade class, I have kids who are 6 and 7. My class this week has 7-year-olds and 8-year-olds because they just finished 1st and 2nd grade. It's not a problem at all; the kids are very sweet kids. I just didn't realize until this week how much more mature a group of 7 and 8 year olds is than a group of 6 and 7 year olds. I was slightly unprepared for teaching older kids, but I think I'm getting the hang of things.

I'm realizing how important it is for us missionaries to be flexible with how we teach the material in the curriculum. There simply is not a way for me to know how a class will go until the first day when I meet the kids. I am a planning freak, and I feel like God is asking me to use this necessary spontaneity to get me to rely on Him more and on myself less. Trusting that God will make everything work out can be so hard sometimes! Please pray for me and for my team. Pray that we can honestly say "Totus Tuus" to God and that we can totally give our hearts and lives over to Him!

God bless! Prayers!

Saturday in the Park

My team is just a little bit obsessed with the song "Saturday in the Park," and we sing it all the time. This past Saturday before we left Lawrenceburg, we stopped by the Davy Crockett State Park. There was a cute little museum in the park, and we went through and read a few things about Davy Crockett's life. My family watched Davy Crockett movies all the time when I was younger, so it was a little trip down memory lane for me. Nick, PJ, and I (Katy went home for the weekend) completely forgot to sing our song while we were at the park, though, and it would have been perfect because we were in a park on a Saturday! Maybe we'll have another opportunity later.

A Visit from an AWESOME Seminarian!

Also, Brendan came down to Lawrenceburg on Thursday night after we begged him all week. We were so excited!

Hello, Goodbye

We just finished up our first week on our own. Time flies. I'm praying so hard that I will truly be able to live in the present and make the most of this summer. We still have four more weeks to go, but I'm so sad that we're already this far. One of the hardest things about Totus Tuus is saying goodbye to everyone on Fridays. We spend an entire week investing pretty much every moment of our time to a parish, and now we have to say goodbye, possibly forever. I'm not very good at saying goodbye to people in the first place, and knowing that I may not be able to see any of these kids again is really hard for me to accept. We don't only invest our time in these kids; we invest our emotions and souls. By the end of the day, I am so exhausted physically, but spiritually, I'm so extremely alive. It's a really strange feeling to try to explain. The gist of it is that in order to be a good missionary, I have to give a little bit of my heart to each of these parishes. We have to be so vulnerable, so open to what the Holy Spirit wants to do with us. I love totally devoting myself to God and to these kids, and I'm so sad that I only have the opportunity to experience a snippet of their lives. It's probably a really good thing, though, because leaving people behind forces me to truly be a missionary and not use this work to glorify myself at all. I need to make myself replaceable; I need to just show them God then let Him take over. Lord, grant me the grace to offer up my devotion to these kids for Your glory!

Tomorrow, we head to Columbia to start all over again with a new parish. I'm so excited to meet these new souls and walk with them to Christ for a week! My team is a bit incomplete for the weekend because Katy had to go home. I miss her so much already! She'll be back on Sunday before the teen program begins, so we won't be separated for too long.

More updates on our week in Columbia later! Please pray that I will have as much internet access there as I have had here!

God bless!

Adventures in Lawrenceburg

1. Nick's (or I guess I should say Andy's) GPS took us down a dirt road one night as we were going to a family's house for dinner. It turns out that the path was just so close to the actual road that the GPS thought we were driving on the right road. After driving down a big hill by a pond and finding plastic chairs around what seemed to be a campfire site, we turned around and found our way back to the main road. We had totally missed the sign for the street. Team bonding!

2. The weather for our Friday water and shaving cream fun day started out terribly. There were thunderstorms in the morning, and we thought we were going to have to keep the kids inside for the afternoon. Everything ended up being fine in the afternoon, though. During the morning storm, we accidentally got locked out of the church and the school and had to drive all the way back to the boys' host family to get the key. Luckily, I had my rain jacket with me. :)

3. Because we were locked out in the morning, we didn't have time to pray morning prayer as a team before the elementary school program. We ended up praying morning prayer, evening prayer, and night prayer after dinner in the church. This probably doesn't sound too funny, but when you're as tired and delirious as I am right now, it's hilarious.

4. After our extreme Liturgy of the Hours session, we explored Walmart. We found a McDonald's. Enjoy the pictures.

Come, Holy Spirit! Teach Us How to Pray!

I am still amazed at how much I love my team. Even though we've spent pretty much every waking moment together for the past two weeks, it's like I can't spend enough time with them. I absolutely love being around all of them. How well our team gets along really is a great example of how powerful prayer is. I've been praying for my teammates since before I even knew I was accepted for Totus Tuus, and I've especially been praying for my female teammate. I love Katy Biddle so much that it's hard to go to sleep at night because we want to stay up late talking. I am just so blessed and so thankful. God is too great.

This first week on our own at Sacred Heart has been so, so, so great. We have made some mistakes that we will learn from for future parishes, but for the most part, the Holy Spirit has been on our side. Over and over and over again, I can feel the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I'll be talking to kids or students and not know what is coming out of my mouth. My prayer before I begin any teaching--whether it is teaching about Old Testament covenants or giving a talk to the older kids--is that the Holy Spirit will use my words to reach the kids. And let me tell you, He listens! I'm beginning to really understand what it means to live out Totus Tuus, to devote myself totally to God through Mary. I am just overflowing with this amazing kind of joy I've only experienced in small doses before. God is so awesome, and He is SO REAL!

Please continue to keep Totus Tuus in your prayers. These kids' lives are being changed--New Evangelization is happening! I don't think I could be happier!

Sweet Home ALMOST Alabama

So far, Lawrenceburg is awesome! Our living situation is COMPLETELY different from last week. Katy and I are staying with the principal of the Catholic elementary school here, and her house is absolutely amazing. All of her kids are grown up, so we're staying in their old rooms. We got to pick among three different rooms, all with huge beds and tons of space. The bathroom is huge, too! We have lots of privacy here, which is so wonderful. The people in charge decided to put all of us with families who didn't have kids living at home anymore because they figured we would be tired of being around kids all day. I really love children, but it's been so nice to go home and let my guard down a little bit. The principal is a wonderful cook, too, so we've been very well fed!

Everyone down here is so outgoing. Nashville is in the South, but it's still a big city. People in Nashville were nice but not as Southern and polite as I'm used to back home.Lawrenceburg is full of Southern hospitality, and I love it. Opelika is definitely bigger than Lawrenceburg, but I feel so at home here. Southerners are so good at welcoming people, and it makes being around new people so much easier.

My class in the mornings is absolutely wonderful. All of these kids are so well behaved; I'm very impressed! They clean up after themselves without us even asking them to--such a blessing! My first and second graders have the longest attention span I've ever seen for kids their age. I've gotten to go pretty deep into some scripture because they're so attentive and they actually enjoy reading the Bible. These kids have such beautiful hearts. I'm really going to miss them when we have to leave on Saturday! Please pray that all of our students will be as great as this bunch!

I LOVE MY TEAM!

First Week Craziness

For our first week of teaching, we have to do an internship with other Totus Tuus teachers. We trained with the missionaries for the Archdiocese of Atlanta while we were in Cullman, and they happened to not have a parish for internship purposes. They decided to just go with us while we interned. We ended up having FOUR teams of missionaries (16 people) working at the Church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary in downtown Nashville this week, and it was crazy! Each team had a day of teaching, and we sort of shadowed the other teachers on the days we weren't teaching. In some ways, it was really nice to not have to have all of my lesson plans done in time for the first week, but in many ways, it was more of a hassle. The kids got pretty confused because they had a different teacher everyday, and the overall lack of central authority was more than I could handle. It was so hard to be organized with so many different people and opinions and ways of doing things. I absolutely cannot wait for next week so I can just have team time and have my own class!
We had two girl host families and two guy host families this week, so I have been at a house with three other girls. The family is wonderful; they have five beautiful blonde children and one on the way, and they're so holy! They really are great people, but we've had some problems with the living arrangements. Katy and I have been sharing an air mattress, and it has a slow leak. The host family dad has usually blown it back up for us, but when he didn't blow it up, he left the air pump in the room. The only problem is that you have to haul the mattress out to the car to blow it up because the charger only works in cars. The walkway to get to our car is very narrow, plus we're girls trying to carry a queen size mattress. When he didn't blow it up, Katy and I just got over it and slept pretty much on the floor. Needless to say, we haven't gotten much sleep this week. On top of that, the host families all live pretty far away from the church because the church is in the downtown area. We've lost about an hour of sleep every night because we've gotten back late and have had to get up early.
The worst part of it all is that the room we're staying in has a bug problem. One night when we walked in, there was a roach on our bed. A few nights ago, a bug fell on Katy's face while she was sleeping. Madeline was making her bed one morning and found a mystery bug under her pillow that looked like a roach with spider legs. Today we found a cricket and a slug, and there have been random little things in the shower. As I was typing this blog post (in the dark), a mosquito crawled across my body. I thought it was a spider, and I jumped off the bed. Overall, it's just been a bad experience.
Silver lining for it all: I'm pretty much best friends with my teamie now. Go team bonding!

Katy Boo

So, my teammates are awesome. Especially Katy Biddle. Katy and I like to brainstorm about ways to have team bonding, and Katy seems to be better at brainstorming than I am. When we got to Nashville after driving all the way from Cullman, Katy realized that she left her purse at Subway in Lawrenceburg when we stopped there for lunch. Lawrenceburg is about an hour south of Nashville. In the words of Katy Biddle, "So, funny story, guys. I might have left my purse at Subway..." Nick and PJ were very nice about the situation. We got back in the car and used our two hours of free time to go back to Lawrenceburg to get Katy's purse. Nick and PJ still had their cups from lunch, so they got refills. That most definitely was an opportunity for team bonding.

We know that God has a sense of humor because we found out yesterday that we're going to be at the Catholic church in Lawrenceburg next week! We're planning a Subway run for reminiscing purposes.

More to come later! God bless!

Teams Revealed!

Today (Wednesday), we found out who was on which teams! God is most definitely way too good to me. My teammates are Katy Biddle, PJ Jedlovec, and Nick Bulso, all Vandy students. I really couldn't ask for a better team. We all complement each other so well, and I absolutely love being around these three wonderful people. I have been praying for my teammates since January, praying that we will work well together and that we will call each other to be holier. I especially prayed for me fellow female teammate because I knew I would have to be around her a LOT, even mores than I'll be around the guys. God most definitely answers prayers! Katy Biddle is just a little bundle of joy, beautiful, Jesus-loving joy. I can't wait to spend the whole summer with her! PJ and Nick are awesome, too!

Since we have our teams, we've also gotten to choose who is teaching what grades and what talks. I am SO extremely excited because my teammates are letting me teach the first and second graders. Little children bring me so much joy; I absolutely cannot wait to meet all of them. I also get to give the theology of the body/love and responsibility/temperance talk to the high schoolers. God's plan for the human body is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful and mysterious aspects of God's creation.

If I had any doubts before about how great my summer would be, they have all completely vanished. I don't think I could be more excited about teaching catechesis to children and middle and high schoolers. Praise God!

St. John Bosco, patron of Totus Tuus Nashville, pray for us!

What? Physical Training, too?

So, I am not exactly the most active person in the world. Exercise and I are not very good friends, and I've never been a sports player. A big part of Totus Tuus is playing games, and this is most definitely going to be my biggest struggle with being a Totus Tuus missionary. I just prefer to have conversations with people instead of playing games with them, but I need to offer it up for the kids. I've been so sore from all this physical activity I'm not used to; we've been having "mandafun" (mandatory fun) and playing things like kickball. I am so out of shape!

Getting to Know You

We're finally starting to get past the awkward stage of first meeting each other. I feel so much more comfortable with being myself now, and that is truly relaxing. I've gotten to have a few one-on-one conversations with people, and it's been great. I'm actually really glad that I don't know who is on my team yet because I probably wouldn't spend much time with the other missionaries if I knew the three other people I'll be spending my summer with. At first, I felt drawn to a few people, and I was afraid that I would not be happy unless they were on my team. God has been so great in opening my heart, though, and I really could see myself working with pretty much all of the missionaries.

I'm beginning to find that training week is not only about giving us the knowledge we need for teaching the kids this summer; it is about getting our spiritual lives in shape for being missionaries. We have been praying the Liturgy of the Hours for morning prayer, evening prayer, and night prayer. I had a little bit of trouble navigating my breviary at first, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. We also are praying the rosary daily, going to mass daily, praying a holy hour daily, and praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily. Talk about spiritual exercise! It's been so wonderful. There is absolutely no way I could get through this summer as a Totus Tuus teacher without prayer and the grace of the Holy Spirit, so it's such a blessing to get to pray in advance for my weeks at parishes.

Going over the curriculum has been really exciting, too. We've only gone over the stuff for the middle schoolers and high schoolers so far, but it's so great! College students have made such an impact in my life while I was in high school by sharing their struggles and giving advice for getting closer to God, and I am so excited that I will be able to help others in that way.

Sleep is priceless so far, so that's all I can post now. More to come! God bless!

I'm here!

We didn't have internet access at St. Bernard's Abbey during training week, so I just saved these blog posts to my computer so I could put them up later.

Saying goodbye to my family was probably one of the hardest things I've done. I've been praying everyday for the strength to be away from them, especially my baby brothers. Being at home for a while before I left was great because I got to spend time with all of them, but it also made goodbyes even more difficult. Dad drove me up to Cullman. We stopped for lunch in Birmingham and met my aunt and my cousin, which was great. We don't get to see them very often, and I loved getting to catch up.

Dad and I got to the Abbey a little bit early, so we explored the Ave Maria Grotto. It's beautiful! It has over 100 miniatures of buildings all around the world. We also met a sweet old man who ended up talking to us for about half an hour. Luckily, we needed to kill some time, so it all worked out very well. He makes pun-ny toys like a "baseball bat" which is a baseball with a bat face and wooden bat wings attached and a "chainsaw" which is a saw head with a chain attached. It was all very funny, and we enjoyed getting to know him.The gift shop for the Grotto was awesome, too. So many Catholic things!

At 4:00, I met up with everyone who carpooled down from Nashville. We're staying in the retreat and conference center on the campus of the Abbey, and it's great. It really feels like a hotel. Having my own bed has been wonderful; I've been sleeping on the couch at home because Elizabeth needed to move in a little over a week before I left. Never before have I been more excited to see a twin bed! My roommate for training is a Vanderbilt student, and she's very nice. Most of the missionaries go to Vandy.

I haven't gotten to know any one person very well because there are 12 Nashville missionaries and 4 Atlanta missionaries here, but we'll be split up into teams of 4 for the actual Totus Tuus teaching. I'm looking forward to being in smaller groups because I value one-on-one quality time so much. It's hard for me to get to know people when I meet a lot of people at one time.

Because there are so many students from Vanderbilt, I feel a little bit like an outsider. Almost everyone knows each other. Everyone is so very nice, but it's just not the same as being at home with all my great CSO friends. I miss my spiritual community back at home! I know I will grow so much by being out of my comfort zone, but that doesn't mean that it's easy, especially at first.

This weekend of training, we've just been going over the basics of Totus Tuus. We haven't gotten started on learning the actual curriculum, but we're being introduced to the mission of Totus Tuus and what exactly we're going to be doing. I can't wait to actually be around all the kids. There's just something about children that makes me want to praise God; I can't explain it. Their beauty is astounding, and they do not put limits on their love. The only bad thing about hearing people talk about kids is that it makes me miss Hank and Oscar.

More to come later! Please keep us in your prayers! I'm praying for everyone back at home!

So Far From the Home I Love

I leave a week from tomorrow! I've been living at home since Monday (with the exception of spending Tuesday night at Kathlene's), and I've really enjoyed getting to spend some extra time with my family. I'm really going to miss them this summer. Being at home these past few days after having lived in an apartment all year has made me realize the things I took for granted when I lived here in high school. Little things like getting blessings from Daddy before bed and snuggling up with Oscar for a nap on the couch are so comforting. It's also fun (and funny) to stay up late and watch Ollie and Johnny sneak around to get a late night snack when they know they're supposed to be asleep. It really did take moving out to get me to realize what a huge blessing my family is, and I know that not seeing them this summer will be very difficult.

For Christmas my senior year of high school, I asked for Don Miller's Through Painted Deserts because I really enjoyed reading his other book, Blue Like Jazz. I started reading it during my last semester of high school, and I had to hide it from myself because it wasn't healthy for me to read when I was struggling with senioritis. It's about Don Miller's experience as he left home for the first time--to go on a crazy and adventurous road trip with a friend. I still haven't finished the book, but what I've read so far is great, especially for this time in my life. I know I'm being called to spend the summer away from home because I haven't been forced out of my comfort zone yet, and everyone needs to do that in order to grow. But that doesn't mean that leaving is easy or unemotional. It's definitely the opposite.

Here are a couple of quotes that I especially liked:

"I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way…Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons."

"We are shaped by our experiences. Our perception of joy, fear, pain, and beauty are sharpened or dulled by the way we rub against time. My senses have become dull, and this trip is an effort to sharpen them."

I think one of the reasons God wants us to change is so we can understand that He is unchanging. And when we understand that God is constant, it becomes easier to trust Him and to give Him our hearts; we know that He will not turn His back on us. When we can truly trust Jesus with ALL of our heart, we can understand His love. And when we can understand His selfless, life-giving love, we can understand God because God is love.

So, I think Jesus is calling me to offer up my worries, anxieties, and fears because He is fast at work trying to win my heart over. He wants me to change and to grow so that I can better love Him and the people around me. I just pray that with His grace, I can do so.

The Countdown Begins...

I leave in less than two weeks! I can't believe everything is coming so soon!

My subleaser, Elizabeth, has moved most of her stuff into my apartment already. She'll be sleeping here at the beginning of next week. I have everything packed up and put in storage except what I'll be needing for the next two weeks, and my apartment looks so bare! It's been a sad (and LONG) experience packing up my apartment, but I find joy in knowing that I get to live with three awesome girls in the fall--plus there will be 9 other CSO girls around us to keep us company!

Our Totus Tuus coordinator has given us some more information about this year's program. The theme is the mystery of salvation, and the set of mysteries we will be focusing on will be the sorrowful mysteries. God is so providential; Kelley and I have been studying salvation history this semester in discipleship. I can't wait to go teach the kids in Nashville all the things I've been learning this semester. The curriculum for the middle schoolers and high schoolers is different, though. We will be covering more general aspects of Catholicism and living a Christian life that will be more pertinent to the life of a middle schooler or a high schooler. Topics for the night sessions are man's capacity for God, God comes to meet man/man's response to God, God's plan for the human body/the Rosary, the Eucharist/confession, and vocational discernment. I'm really excited that I get to interact with so many different age groups. We'll get to be silly and fun in the mornings with the younger kids then more serious and spiritual with older kids.

I am also getting very excited about meeting all the missionaries for the Nashville diocese! Nashville is having three teams of four this summer, and we'll find out who is on each team at training. I've been praying for my team for weeks now; I hope we all get along well! We'll be around each other pretty much 24/7, so we'll have to like each other!

More updates to come later!

My heart's desire!

I'm accepted! I found out a few weeks ago that I will have the honor of being a Totus Tuus missionary for the Diocese of Nashville, Tennessee this summer! Totus Tuus combines two of my heart's innermost passions: serving God and working with children. I really don't think I could be more excited!

I will be out doing God's work from May 27th-July 29th. I will [hopefully] be blogging about my experiences to let all of you know what's going on. For those of you who are not familiar with Totus Tuus, see below for a description of what this summer program is all about. I'll be posting more once I have more information, but for now, please keep Totus Tuus of Nashville in your prayers!

God bless!

TOTUS TUUS is a fun and energetic parish-based summer catechetical program, for both grade school age children and junior and senior high school youth. We gather qualified college students and seminarians into teams of four in order to train them and send them out on the road to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ in various parishes throughout Nashville and surrounding dioceses. Their youthfulness, energy, and ability to witness to the Faith make our missionaries particularly effective with children and young people.

The team serves for a week in each parish by putting on two programs. The first runs Sunday through Thursday from 7:30 PM–9:30 PM for junior and senior high school youth. Our goal is to put them in contact with the Risen Lord so they can develop a deep, personal relationship with Him. To this end, we have a night of Adoration, opportunities for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, relevant and vibrant catechesis, talks on vocational discernment, and an entire week of fellowship with the team members. The team also presents a grade school program (grades 1-6) that runs Monday-Friday from 9:00 AM–2:30 PM. Our time is spent on catechetical instruction, songs, games, daily Mass, the opportunity for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, lunch, recess and more. The program ends with water activities on Friday afternoon in celebration of the week. The focus is on imparting an understanding and love of the Eucharist, devotion to Mary, effective catechesis, vocational awareness, and an all-around fun experience. The team also strives to get to know each parish and its members. In order to do this, they stay with families of the parish, eat with different families throughout the week, and invite the entire parish to a “potluck” dinner on Wednesday night. Over the past two decades, TOTUS TUUS has succeeded in reaching out to youth all over the country in order to help them know and love the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition to this, we have tried to help local parishes by providing a fun and strong summer catechetical program. By God’s grace, we look forward to continued growth in the Diocese of Nashville.

5 PILLARS OF TOTUS TUUS
1. The Eucharist
2. Marian Devotion
3. Catechetical Instruction
4. Vocational Discernment
5. Good-Hearted Fun