Sweet Home Alabama

So, as you can probably tell, I didn't blog at all during my last week of Totus Tuus. I was most definitely in denial about everything coming to an end, and I wasn't ready to go back to my regular life in Alabama. I've been home for three days now, and I'm still not completely ready for things to go back to how they were before. It's getting a little bit easier as time goes by, but I still miss being a Totus Tuus missionary so much. Anything and everything reminds me of my team, and it's so strange to not be with them all the time. I keep giggling about things that they would think are funny, but no one understands why they're funny here. Basically, I just miss how things were this summer.

Just so you have an idea of how my last week went…let me just say that being in Alcoa was the best way to finish up the program. Everything went so well, and the people there were so great. The teen program went especially well. We did a really good job with the daytime program at most parishes, but it wasn't until Alcoa that I felt like we were actually making a difference in the kids' lives during the teen program. All of us gave our talks extremely well that last week, which makes me very happy. I'm glad that we ended on a good note so we felt like the summer was a success. Our Lady of Fatima in Alcoa reminds me a lot of St. Michael's in Auburn. They're both about the same size, and the same kinds of people go to both parishes. Especially during small group discussions, I felt like I was talking to myself when I was in high school. Their CYO is so much like my CYO in high school. I think that's why I felt like I could actually make an impact (or rather, that the Holy Spirit could make an impact through me). I just felt like I knew what they needed to hear. I'm still thanking God for giving us such a beautiful parish for our last week.

I'm still praying and discerning what exactly it is that God wanted me to get out of this summer. I've learned so much--how to let the Holy Spirit work through me to minister to others, how to love better, how to be a more faithful friend to my Sweet Jesus. Ironically, what I've learned the most is something that I prayed (and blogged!) about before I even left for Totus Tuus. Here's a snippet from one of my first Totus Tuus blog posts:

"I think one of the reasons God wants us to change is so we can understand that He is unchanging. And when we understand that God is constant, it becomes easier to trust Him and to give Him our hearts; we know that He will not turn His back on us. When we can truly trust Jesus with ALL of our heart, we can understand His love. And when we can understand His selfless, life-giving love, we can understand God because God is love.

So, I think Jesus is calling me to offer up my worries, anxieties, and fears because He is fast at work trying to win my heart over. He wants me to change and to grow so that I can better love Him and the people around me. I just pray that with His grace, I can do so."

Even though I'm hundreds of miles away from my teammates, and even though my life is drastically different from how it was this summer, I get to see my same Sweet Jesus every time I am in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament. I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to live out Totus Tuus, to truly tell God that I am totally His. My heart is no longer restless because I know that I can rest in my Jesus.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers this summer. I could not have gotten through any of this summer without prayer. Thank God for an awesome, life-changing summer!

May God bless you!