Sweet Home Alabama

So, as you can probably tell, I didn't blog at all during my last week of Totus Tuus. I was most definitely in denial about everything coming to an end, and I wasn't ready to go back to my regular life in Alabama. I've been home for three days now, and I'm still not completely ready for things to go back to how they were before. It's getting a little bit easier as time goes by, but I still miss being a Totus Tuus missionary so much. Anything and everything reminds me of my team, and it's so strange to not be with them all the time. I keep giggling about things that they would think are funny, but no one understands why they're funny here. Basically, I just miss how things were this summer.

Just so you have an idea of how my last week went…let me just say that being in Alcoa was the best way to finish up the program. Everything went so well, and the people there were so great. The teen program went especially well. We did a really good job with the daytime program at most parishes, but it wasn't until Alcoa that I felt like we were actually making a difference in the kids' lives during the teen program. All of us gave our talks extremely well that last week, which makes me very happy. I'm glad that we ended on a good note so we felt like the summer was a success. Our Lady of Fatima in Alcoa reminds me a lot of St. Michael's in Auburn. They're both about the same size, and the same kinds of people go to both parishes. Especially during small group discussions, I felt like I was talking to myself when I was in high school. Their CYO is so much like my CYO in high school. I think that's why I felt like I could actually make an impact (or rather, that the Holy Spirit could make an impact through me). I just felt like I knew what they needed to hear. I'm still thanking God for giving us such a beautiful parish for our last week.

I'm still praying and discerning what exactly it is that God wanted me to get out of this summer. I've learned so much--how to let the Holy Spirit work through me to minister to others, how to love better, how to be a more faithful friend to my Sweet Jesus. Ironically, what I've learned the most is something that I prayed (and blogged!) about before I even left for Totus Tuus. Here's a snippet from one of my first Totus Tuus blog posts:

"I think one of the reasons God wants us to change is so we can understand that He is unchanging. And when we understand that God is constant, it becomes easier to trust Him and to give Him our hearts; we know that He will not turn His back on us. When we can truly trust Jesus with ALL of our heart, we can understand His love. And when we can understand His selfless, life-giving love, we can understand God because God is love.

So, I think Jesus is calling me to offer up my worries, anxieties, and fears because He is fast at work trying to win my heart over. He wants me to change and to grow so that I can better love Him and the people around me. I just pray that with His grace, I can do so."

Even though I'm hundreds of miles away from my teammates, and even though my life is drastically different from how it was this summer, I get to see my same Sweet Jesus every time I am in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament. I am so thankful that I had this opportunity to live out Totus Tuus, to truly tell God that I am totally His. My heart is no longer restless because I know that I can rest in my Jesus.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers this summer. I could not have gotten through any of this summer without prayer. Thank God for an awesome, life-changing summer!

May God bless you!

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton

This week, we are teaching at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Tennessee Ridge. This parish is so cute and tiny, and the kids are so sweet. My class is even smaller than it was in McEwen; I had three yesterday (with one student who was also in my class in McEwen) and I had four today. All the other classes have between three and four students, too, so our grand total has been about ten students in the daytime program. The night program has had about ten, also. So small! One of the benefits of having such a small group is that we really get to know the kids. At the bigger churches, we get to know some kids pretty well, but I definitely don't know all of my students well. Even more so than at bigger parishes, I feel like I'm making a difference in these kids' lives. I have a feeling that it's going to be hard to leave here, also.

This is our second to last week of Totus Tuus. I can't believe that this whirlwind of a summer is getting close to being over. I'm dreading being separated from my team, and I don't know how I'm going to handle not being on the road, teaching kids, and getting to see awesome places in Tennessee anymore. Katy has to leave tomorrow night to go on a family vacation, and she won't be back until Sunday afternoon. I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from her for that long! I had a hard time last time she had to leave, but now I know her even better and she'll be gone for longer. Please pray for me Thursday through Sunday; I won't have my Katy to keep me strong! Also, this weekend is going to be a pretty tough trip. We have a four and a half hour drive to our next parish, and we have to be there by about ten or ten thirty because we are going to see Scott Hahn speak! I'm so excited to see Scott Hahn, but on top of having such a long drive, we lose an hour because we switch to Eastern time. I think we're going to be leaving by about 4:30 or 5:00 am, so pray that we can actually wake up that early and that Nick doesn't fall asleep while he's driving us!

Thanks, and God bless! I'm praying for all my friends back home!

Team Nashville

All the Nashville teams together!

My cute little team + Andy

So, Katy and I think Andy looks like a leprechaun. We're the fighting Irish!

On the Road Again

So sorry for the lack of blog posts! I couldn't blog on the silent retreat for obvious purposes, and finding internet access in Tennessee Ridge has been a bit difficult.

After our break for the Fourth of July, all of the Nashville teams and the Atlanta team met back up at St. Bernard's Abbey in Cullman for a silent retreat. I've been worrying about this retreat for quite a while because I'm not very good at being silent for long periods of time. We could say the mass parts out loud, and we could pray out loud whenever we had group prayer for the Liturgy of the Hours, rosary, etc., but we were completely quiet other than that. It was about two days of silence. Surprisingly, I didn't really have a problem with keeping my mouth shut. The part of the retreat that was really hard for me was the solitude; we were supposed to avoid making eye contact with people--basically, to avoid non-verbal communication as well as verbal communication. I could handle not talking, but not getting hugs or even looking at people's faces was really hard for me, especially because I was on this retreat with my teammates whom I love and depend on very much. In all, I think it was good for me to go on the retreat, but I don't necessarily want to go on another silent retreat anytime soon. We had a day to hang out with all the teams before we left for our next parishes, so my team went to PJ's house in Huntsville. The next day, we spent some time at Nick's house in Brentwood before we headed to Tennessee Ridge for the week. Our mass kit was missing a few things that have made teaching with it difficult; most notably, the altar was missing, so I couldn't teach the kids how the altar is set easily. Over the break, Nicholas started making a mini altar for me to use, and he finished it when we were at his house. It looks so nice, and it makes teaching the mass class so much easier! He didn't have time to stain it, but it looks so nice!

I think it was the Fourth of July

For the Fourth of July, Nick's family was brave enough to have all of my family (minus Wilson) over to their house along with Katy and some other missionaries and seminarians. It was quite a lovely party, and meeting all of the Bulsos was so much fun! Katy and I have felt bad all summer because we stole Nick's little brother's car, so we wrote him a thank you card. It was great to put a face with the name, and I think he appreciated his thank you card.

My family left today, and I'm staying with Katy at her older brother's house for the night. Nick and PJ will pick us up in the morning, and we're heading down to Cullman for a silent retreat. We'll see how this whole being silent for two whole days thing goes.

Also, we went to Moe's in Nashville tonight for dinner, and we couldn't help but take a picture next to these funny tea signs. See if you can figure out who's from the South and who's from the North.

Family Time!

My family came up to Nashville to visit me for our break! It was so great to see their beautiful faces. See above for what I've been missing out on for a month. :) We got to meet up with my parents' old friend (the one who introduced them to each other, actually!), and we got to go to Knoxville to see some old friends from when we lived there. So exciting! Here are some pictures to document:

Last Week Before the Break!

We didn't have very much internet access in McEwen, so I apologize for not blogging more. The week was really great. The kids in my class totally stole my heart away. They asked such wonderful questions, and they really listened to what I taught them, especially about mass! The first and second grade curriculum includes a class all about mass every day of the program, and we have a mini mass kit that has miniatures of things like the chalice and paten, altar bells, etc. The kids love getting to pass everything around; I think the information sticks with them better because it's hands-on learning. When we walked into the church, my students got so excited to see the red candle lit by the tabernacle. One of them looked at me and said, "Look, Miss Emma! The candle is lit! Jesus is home!" When the altar servers rang the bells during the consecration, one of my students goes, "Oh, I need to pay attention! This is the most important part!" They also really enjoyed talking about remembering their baptism when they make the sign of the cross with holy water when entering a church. I mean, really, how could you not fall in love with little children genuinely enjoying the beauty of the Catholic Church?

All of my students this week were so extremely reverent during mass. All they needed was for someone to explain to them WHY we do certain things instead of just telling them to be quiet and go through the motions. Being able to teach kids about how sacred and beautiful the mass is has been one of the most rewarding parts of Totus Tuus. Children have such beautiful hearts overflowing with love, and I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to direct them on how to love Jesus through the mass.

The teen program went well this week, too. There weren't many people, but it was nice to have more of a casual conversation during small groups instead of a big discussion. I loved my small group girls, as always. I really want to visit all of these parishes again sometime before they all graduate so I can see how they're doing. Like I've said many times before, it's so hard to leave parishes at the end of the week. I feel like I'm leaving little bits of my heart in all these different places. I just hope that some seeds are being planted, and I'm praying that God will bless all of these wonderful teens with holy people who can be there for them in a long-term sense instead of just us being with them for a week. This is the point where I need to trust that God will take care of the people I love so I don't worry or stress about them.